Today, Brittany missed the bus, again. This has become such a frequent occurrence that, this time, I recieved a phone call from the guidance counselor at the middle school. She explained to me that three tardies equal on absence and students are only allowed five absences per semester. Anymore than that and technically, they should "fail" their classes. Brittany has 13 tardies and 5 absences already.
I tried to explain that I had foreseen this and had sought an IEP or 504 in order to prevent the level of stress and anxiety that is, I believe, the root of her slothfullness in the morning. I went on to give examples of stressors that I'm seeing like long term papers and projects that she just can't seem to get done. Or misunderstanding instructions or just making careless errors on math problems when she does know how to do the operation.
During the course of the conversation however I was asked if I always "come to her rescue." This has given me great pause because I don't view myself as shielding any of my children from the natural consequences of their choices. Granted it is easier with things like wearing a jacket in cold weather.
I view this as more complicated. We are not dealing with a normally functioning twelve year old girl. Heck! Twelve year old girls are messed up to begin with! You add Brittany's inability to tolerate change and injustice plus her lack of ability to put herself in other people's shoes and I'd say we'd be lucky to get anything productive out of her the next few years!
But the question remains. Do I let her continue to crash and burn and feel the full weight of the system bearing down on her or do I try to get modifications to the system put in place so that it lessens the stress on her and on those things beyond her control so that she'll have a better shot at actually succeeding? I am going to have to sleep on it.
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