"Bright not broken"

I am reading the book "Bright Not Broken" by Diane Kennedy and Rebecca Banks with collaboration from Temple Grandin. I was drawn to this book because of what I'm dealing with Brittany. I feel that this book describes perfectly the dilemma we have with her.

In their book, the authors refer to children that are gifted and have a diagnosis for things like ADHD and Aspergers as twice-exceptional or 2e children. I feel that describes Brittany exactly. She is always amazing me with the caliber of things that she writes or draws or knows about. Yet she is constantly frustrating me with things like refusing to take showers, constantly getting distracted in the morning so that she misses the bus, bullying her sisters just because they annoy her and don't follow the rules like they should, and throws temper tantrums and slams doors.

I am curious to see how these authors propose that one deal with the paradox of either giftedness masking a disability or a disability masking giftedness so that I might be able to help find the balance for Brittany. Right now, at school, I am dealing with the first problem where the school doesn't feel an IEP is necessary due to the fact that Brittany's grade don't look too bad.
I have parent teacher conference tomorrow. Wish me luck. I hope it won't be as bad as I fear it will be.